While surfing the interweb the other day, I came across an article entitled "Are You Ready for a Baby or Not?", needless to say it immediately caught my eye. The article listed five signs you're ready for a baby, and five signs you're not. Here they are, for your reading pleasure:
- Your Finances are Rock Solid - Don't forget to factor in child care costs or the income hit you'll take if one of you stays home.
- You Have a Support System - Friends and family are all around, and you're not ashamed to ask them for a hand. What you already know is far less important than your willingness to let others help.
- You're Ready to Sacrifice "Me Time" - The selflessness that's necessary for raising children is pretty major and life-changing—so make sure that you're cool with the idea.
- You Can Deal with Discord - When there's a disagreement, the two of you talk it over without any major explosions. It's not the absence of problems (get real), but your ability to openly and calmly deal with them that will make you fit parents.
- You've Got Questions - Asking yourselves, "What if we mess up the kid? And how bad will the sleepless nights be?" is totally valid. Make sure you're also willing to listen to each other's answers.Asking yourselves, "What if we mess up the kid? And how bad will the sleepless nights be?" is totally valid. Make sure you're also willing to listen to each other's answers.
Signs You're Not
- You Both Put Work First- Even if the future nanny's on speed dial and you both plan to continue to work full-time, some amount of change in your lives is inevitable. If one or both of you would feel burdened by this new "job," put it on hold.
- You Still Crave Freedom - If you feel depressed at the thought of giving up those spontaneous vacations and frequent dinners out, it's a signal that you need a little more time as a twosome.
- You Feel the Pressure - The only timetable for getting pregnant that matters is the one that makes sense for the two of you—not your friends or parents.
- You Want a Baby Band-Aid - You hope the baby will bring the two of you closer or distract you from problems in the relationship. In fact, it'll only amplify them.
- You're Not on the Same Page - Babies aren't a "give it a try, see if you like it" kind of deal. A disagreed-on pregnancy can potentially set up an unequal balance of responsibility and may result in animosity for both of you down the road.
Based on the list, I think that Hubby and I are in the "You're Ready" category. Okay, our finances aren't "rock solid", but we're working on it, and they will be fine in a few year's time when we actually start trying. Honestly though, I never think you're fully ready for a baby. My mom ALWAYS says that if you wait until you're ready to have a baby, you'll never have one. My thought is that it's going to be scary, you're going to feel like you're not ready, and you're going to miss the days of spontaneous outings to the bar on a Thursday night. However, it won't matter. You're life is going to be filled with so much love from your new bundle of joy that you'll make it work, and you'll be happy.
I know that when the time comes, we'll be ready. Sure, we will be scared, but excited too! Things won't be perfect, but we'll make them work.
For now though, I have two little fur babies that I can snuggle with and talk to in my baby voice. I can also travel and go on adventures with Hubby; experience things that will have to be put on hold once we have a baby. I have to stop living in the future, and enjoy the present.
4 comments:
I agree with your mom, it'll happen when you are ready and when you're not OBSESSED about it.
I kinda have baby fever, even my mom notices it, but I know it'll be worth the wait.
But Aunite Jen and Uncle Jason would really like a niece or nephew. When you're ready.
You need to do Germany first.
Ahhh, babies! Can't wait till you two have a little one!
Definitely Germany first :)
You'll make a great mom!! Good on you for knowing what you want! I'm the opposite - I know I'll never want children (I'm too selfish)
I am just catching up here but seriously, no one is ever really ready for a baby. We love our life with our baby and we are ready in every way possible but man oh man, life is different but it's perfect and we could not picture it any other way. One thing that we have found extremely important is MAKING time as a couple and starting that early on. Utilizing grandparents helps big time. Money makes the transition easier but honestly, you just start sacrificing what you spend on yourself normally and you don't even care. Being a mommy & daddy is so rewarding. The good thing is, there's 9 months to spend every waking second to prepare and get all the alone time you can before that next stage. I get teary just talking about being a mom...
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