cadillac problems

Do you ever feel like you just can't get anything right?  Like you're stuck in a rut that you just can't seem to climb out of?  That was me last week; I was in a serious funk. I'm talking MAJOR ebb.  Here's what I was dealing with:

  • Hubby and I paid off our car, however, they still decided to take a car payment out of our account. Which we obviously weren't expecting. Which caused the payment to be returned NSF. Which caused our bank to charge us crazy NSF charges. Not cool.
  • I had a big exam looming over me. I was nervous as I didn't feel that I was prepared for it. I thought I  didn't study nearly enough for it over the weekend. I was kind of freaking out. Plus, I had to write my exam during game 4 of Canucks v. Blackhawks payoff series. Hubby was going out to watch the game with friends over dinner and drinks and I was stuck writing an exam. Totally not fair.
  • To make matters worse, after dropping Hubby off at the seabus to meet said friends to watch the game, I rear-ended the car in front of me while trying to merge. What. An. Idiot. I was so embarrassed; I'm surprised I didn't start crying. Well, I cried when I got home, but I held it together while talking to the guy (who also was not impressed with my stupidity). Also, I had no idea what I needed to do as this was the first accident I've ever been in; I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Oh ya, then I had to go home and write an exam.
  • I was struggling at work. I couldn't even accomplish the simplest tasks. I honestly had to revise the SIMPLEST letter FIVE times because I kept making mistakes. My boss even patted me on the back and asked if everything was okay. No, it wasn't okay. What the heck was going on?
  • Oh, and then on top of everything I received a $500 cell phone bill.  Just my luck.

I just felt like everything in my life was going seriously wrong. It was so bad that when one of my co-workers asked me if I was okay, I could feel the tears starting to fill my eyes. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to pull the covers around me, snuggle up with my fur babies, and forget everything. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option. Then, she sent me an email:

"you can always start your day over again. just take a deep breath and try to accept all these annoying things...and give yourself a break for being in this spot. none of this was your control and that's what makes it so tough. you've got a lovely husband, good friends, a great job, a finished and aced exam, a long weekend, lots of treats and snacks coming your way today and two little kitties waiting for you when you get home. life is good and without the shit...you'll never appreciate all your countless gifts."

What an amazing friend and person. Her simple words made me stop focusing on the bad, and to remember all the good in my life. My problems were really Cadillac problems; once I started focusing on the positive, I was able to see that all these problems stemmed from being able to live such a blessed life.

We're lucky enough to be able to afford a car.

We're lucky enough to have a good relationship with our bank that they will reverse the NSF charges.

I'm lucky that I'm able to afford to attend university, and that I do well in my courses.
(ps: I ended getting an A+ on my exam. I worried for nothing)

Again, I'm lucky enough to own a car, and that there was no damage to either car. And that I didn't hurt anybody. Totally lucky.

I'm lucky enough to have a job, and a job where I can be "off" one day without them thinking I'm a total idiot.

I'm lucky enough that I can afford a cell phone, and that they reversed the charges. Turns out they owe ME money. Ha!

The thing is, this is all stuff that I know, yet when I'm in the middle of it, I'm never able to see the bigger picture. I'm so focused on what happening right in front of me that I'm not able to realize that it's all part of a bigger, better life. I love life. I love how we keep learing, growing, and evloving each day that we are alive.  I love how I've now come to accept that I'm really living la belle vie, even when things aren't going exactly to plan.


Taren said...

What a great post! I'm sorry you had a rough week, I hope things get better soon for you!

Jill Daniel :) said...

You are an amazing writer and person. I love reading your posts! They are often about things that I am thinking about too. I love this post cause it really does point out that even though you had those set backs, you are lucky enough to be in the situation you are that you CAN have those set backs.
I'm glad that your bank reversed the charges for you. The banker in me was going to tell you to ask for a refund, then I read further..
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts!

Amanda said...

Aw, thanks Ladies!

Jill - thank you so much - your comment totally made me cry :) It's so nice to hear that you are often going through/thinking of the same things, makes me feel like I'm not alone!