five things

Inspired by one of my favourite posts from Newlywed Trek, I decided to share five things that I've learned from our first two years of marriage.

1.  Sharing money is harder than I thought it was going to be.

I think that this one was really shocking to me.  Before we got married, Hubby and I were sharing all of the household expenses.  However, any extra money from our paycheques wasn't going towards us or our joint account, it stayed in our individual bank accounts.  I could shop as much as I wanted and, as long as I paid half of our household bills, I wasn't obligated to save any of the money.   Sure, I had savings through my Canada Savings Bonds and RRSPs, but nothing other than that.  I SHOPPED.  A lot.  Then about 8 months ago, Hubby and I decided to combine all of our income and expenses into one account.  This means, now instead of all having all my extra income to spend, I get an allowance each payday.  Once that's gone, I have no more spending money.  Trust me, it took a looong time to get used to this.  However, I'm now proud to say that it's working and I'm happy.  I hardly ever shop anymore, and when I do I only buy items that are reasonably priced or that are long-terms investments.  In the end, I'm happy with the changes that we made because they've made us more financially stable.  It also means that we get to go to Germany next year.

2.  Being able to call him "my husband" is every part as exciting as I thought it would be.

I don't know why, but both Hubby and I had a difficult time saying (or introducing each other as) "my fiance".  It just felt wrong saying it.  I was so looking forward to saying "my husband".  I remember calling him "my husband" the day after our wedding and I loved the way that the words rolled off my tongue.  I still love saying it, two years later.

3.  I have a hard time "just being".

I've learned that I'm always looking toward the "next thing".  I seem to have a hard time being content with what I have already and letting the future come when it will.  No, as soon as the previous thing is "done", I immediately want to move on.  First we got engaged.  Then we got married.  What's next?  A baby, of course!  Except, a baby isn't what we want for our life at this moment.  We want to travel, to finish school, to buy a bigger house, to enjoy these years, just us two!  For whatever reason though, I put an insane amount of pressure on myself that a baby needed to be next.  Remember my baby brain?  Well, the thing was that it's what a lot of other people expected of us, not what Hubby and I really wanted.  Babies will definitely happen.  Just not right now.  Right now I get to enjoy a few years with my Hubby.  Going out, travelling, and enjoying our independence.

4.   The wedding is not everything.

I knew this before I got married.  I guess I just never really knew it until after we were married and I was watching other people plan and talk about their weddings.  I could see them stressing over the details, worrying about what to do, and getting caught up in the massive world of wedding planning.  No matter if your wedding is big or small, there are always stresses.  Always.  If I could go back, I wouldn't stress as much.  I wouldn't take it so seriously.  Sure, it's an important day, but it's not everything.  Nor should it be everything.  Your marriage should be everything.  In the end, I loved our wedding day.  It wasn't perfect, but it was ours.

5.  Celebrating anniversaries is very important.

For our first anniversary, we opened a bottle of fancy champagne, and went out for a nice dinner together.  For our second anniversary, we travelled to Seattle to celebrate.  Either way, we did something to celebrate; something to make it special.  We've made a promise to each other that each year we will celebrate our anniversary.  It's something that's important to us.  To celebrate our marriage.  Our love.  Each other.


Amanda said...

Good list. We're planning on trying the allowance thing next year. Right now, we have a shared "general spending" category, and if Nathan spends a lot, I can't buy what I want.

I know what you mean about "just being." I'm trying to work on being content in all circumstances, but it's hard to not want to move when you're trying to sleep and the neighbor's dog is 6 feet away through thin walls barking his head off!

Amanda said...


I think that you'll find that having an allowance works well. It was the best thing that we ever did.

Amanda said...
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